


what will we do this time about adam?

by dumbsoftie



Category: Girls (TV)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Fluff and Angst, Gen, Sad Adam
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-20
Updated: 2018-07-20
Packaged: 2019-06-13 07:14:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,044
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15359118
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dumbsoftie/pseuds/dumbsoftie
Summary: He’s tired. Ready to give up, even. Adam can’t seem to catch a break, and he’s decided that this is just how it is. This has to be what love is like. If this is how it feels to be in love, then he wants no part in it. He’s not sure what’s wrong with him. There must be something, something that’s always been there.





	what will we do this time about adam?

He’s tired. Ready to give up, even. Adam can’t seem to catch a break, and he’s decided that this is just how it is. This has to be what love is like. If this is how it feels to be in love, then he wants no part in it. He’s not sure what’s wrong with him. There must be something, something that’s always been there.

It really has always been like this. He was the kid in the back of the classroom, too tall, too awkward, too weird– but, what made him so weird? So what, he liked to do things that were unique. He liked to express himself through acting, writing, even woodworking, but still, he felt like he had so much emotion inside of him. So many opinions, so many thoughts filled his head. Is that what made him unlucky?

He didn’t get to have mutual breakups. He wanted more, something that he couldn’t have, and that was his downfall. First Hannah, then Natalia, then Mimi-Rose, and even Jessa. Each one of them had been fun at first, but he knew that he wanted too much from himself. They wanted a boyfriend, a good man, and Adam was none of that. He was a mess, a weird man, and he’d never be enough to satisfy anyone.

He hated it when it got like this. It took a lot to push him into a pit of insecurity, but losing you was his breaking point.

That’s how he got here, sitting on the stairs of his apartment building. He felt stupid, eyes red and puffy, crying for the first time in months, but, he felt at peace when he looked at the city. It never stopped moving, it gave him a chance to always have something to do. When he stopped and looked in on himself, he was never pleased.

Maybe, he could get a drink. No, no, that was a terrible idea. He wished that it never even came to his mind. You’d been there for him, made him believe that he didn’t need alcohol, he didn’t need anything to help him cope, because he had you. Now, though, things were different. He’d said one too many negative things, things he didn’t mean, and he’d ruined it all.

When didn’t he ruin everything?

This was his chance to have a new start, to finally not fuck everything up. He’d really convinced himself, too. He promised himself that he wasn’t going to let this one crash and burn, because you were so perfect.

When he’d met you, he thought that he was lucky to even earn your friendship. Adam saw you as the most perfect thing that he’d ever seen, and for once, he didn't want to be selfish and let himself break your heart. It had gone on like that for awhile, Adam trying to keep himself from giving in. You were too good for him, too special, and he couldn’t let his own bad luck screw that up.

Eventually, he’d caved. How long could he stay away from the most beautiful person that he’d ever seen?

The two of you had the relationship that he’d always wanted, what he’d longed to have. You never pushed him into doing things, and you supported him through it all. He wondered what he’d done to deserve something so great, since everything else in his life had been a complete shit show.  
Now, he’d figured it out, though. The whole thing must have been the universe’s sick way of giving him everything, then allowing him to ruin it all by himself. Adam put his head in his hands, wishing that he could just get something to go right, for once. At first, he’d been mad. Mad at the world, mad at whatever higher power had allowed this to happen for the hundredth time.  
This was worse than all of his other relationships, though. It made his heart ache, a deep burning feeling inside of him that wouldn’t go away. A few words had caused him to lose everything that he loved, and there was no possible way that he could get that back.   
He couldn’t be mad forever. Soon, it dissolved into the worst sadness that he’d ever felt. In the past, he’d wished for more, aching for a new chance to get things to go the way that he wanted, but this time, he’d gotten a chance. The only person that he could blame was himself. Even when everything went right, Adam Sackler made it all go wrong.   
A choked sob left his lips, and he cringed in embarrassment. Who was he? Who was this man that was crying on the porch of his apartment building, whining like his life was over? But, it felt like his life was over. His support system had been lost, for good. There was no way in hell that you’d want to come back to him and forgive him, not after you’d seen his true personality.  
The door behind him opened, but he couldn’t bear to look. The only thing that he wanted to do was curl up on himself and listen to the sounds of the city, wallowing in his self pity and shame. He did look up, though, when he felt someone brush past his side.

It was you. Where were your bags? Why did you look so sad? He’d expected you to be furious, storming out on him as soon as you could’ve. The tears streaming down your cheeks wore him down inside, and he waited for the words that had to be coming. The words that he had heard over and over.

“Are you done with me?” He asks, his voice quiet and soft for once. He waits for the nod, the slap, the insults, but it doesn’t come. 

Instead, you sat down next to him, leaning your head onto his shoulder.

“It’s going to be okay, Adam. I’m not going to leave you.” You promise.

Adam exhales like the weight of the world has left his shoulders, eyes squeezing shut. He was right. This was different. The comfort of your hand gliding along his back made his tears stop falling, his heart stop hurting.

Maybe, just maybe, he wasn’t going to ruin this one.


End file.
